The moon was cold and harsh, staring down from above. For a few minutes, Josh found it reassuring, a friend in the night. Both of them too cool, aloof and misunderstood. What a joke. Josh Allenson, big man on campus, studly, studly. Who would have guessed?

And then his heart froze, as hard as the moon. She hadn't guessed. Cindy didn't know who he really was. If he was what she thought he was, then of course he was a jerk. But she was wrong. If she'd known what a loser she had lured into her web. If she knew anything about Josh, then she would be laughing too. She would see how amazingly funny the world can be. Instead of what a jerk he was.

What to do? The moon was laughing, a cold laugh that chilled his frozen heart. Tonight, the girl of his dreams had asked him to her house. Her parents were gone. And she'd kissed him. And then? And then?

And then, she had left him on the porch and locked the door. Bingo. What else could he have expected? This is Josh Allenson we're talking about. Of course she locked me out.

A cloud blew across the face of the moon. Josh turned around and looked at the locked door. Ludicrous. Time to go. Maybe in twenty years another girl would talk to him. And he could mess things up again. He stood up.

`Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose.' Who had said that? One of his teachers? Nope. Janis Joplin. And what she meant was. . . . What she meant was. . . . There was something here. What did she mean? The moon came out from behind the cloud. And Josh knew what she meant.

He walked the three steps across the porch and reached for the bell. And then he hesitated. He reached for the latch. He tried the door, and it swung open. He stood with the moonlight flowing around him, lighting the hallway. Cindy sat on the bottom step, her face buried in her hands. She didn't look up.

"Every time I see you, you've got your face buried in your hands. Is this some sort of message?"

"I told you to leave. And now you're breaking into my house. Do I need to call the cops?"

"Breaking and entering involves breaking something. The door was open. Illegal entry, maybe. But not breaking and entering."

"Are you ever serious? Leave." Cindy had raised her head for a moment, but buried it again. Josh pulled a chair out from the wall and spun it around before straddling it and sitting.

"I need to tell you some things before I leave."

"I don't want to hear them."

"I listened to you. The least you can do is let me talk." He leaned on the back of the chair and watched her.

"The least you could do is leave."

"I thought about that. But I couldn't do that."

"Why not? It's what would make me happy."

"I don't think so."

"What do you know about me?" Her head snapped up. "What could you possibly know?"

Could flames shoot from someone's eyes? The more he watched this girl, the more he paid attention, the more animated, the more beautiful she became. Someday. . . . Not today, he had enough sense to know, but someday he'd tell her how beautiful she was when she was angry. Now he chose his words more carefully.

"I've watched you. You come to class, and my heart says. . . . My heart says, `Hey, Josh. Pay attention. Talk to that girl.' But I couldn't. I just listened to your poetry. And watched you sit and talk and. . . . And just watched. You're right. What a jerk."

"That's what I said." But Josh noticed that her head was up. She was still tugging on the braid, but at least she was looking at him.

"I watched you all term. I don't know where you were last term, but suddenly, suddenly all I thought about was you." Josh realized, as he spoke, just how true this was. Caught by surprise again.

"Big deal. I told you. Notch your belt. Tell them anything you want. But go away."

"Wait. That's what I came to tell you. Do you know how many times I've felt like this before?"

"Every time there's a woman in the room."

"Never. Nada. Not once."

"Lies. Lies. Guys like you make little girls swoon. Don't think I haven't seen them talking and giggling after you walk by. Mister hotshot." She twisted her head, making her braid flip back over her shoulder.

"Notches in my belt. Do you want to know how many notches there are in my belt?"

"No." Her eyes were blazing.

"None. I don't pay attention to girls. You are all so, so wrapped up in yourselves. I never imagined any of you even noticed me. So it wasn't worth my time. Until I saw you."

"You're lying."

"Nope. Truth. And all I was going to do was ask Jim what your name was and then try to figure something out. And then you had your friends grab me and pull me into the girls' room. I hadn't been in a girls' bathroom since a bunch of us snuck in in the third grade."

"My friends? They were your friends. That was a pretty nasty trick. Do you know how humiliating that was? Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was?"

"I don't exactly get off being assaulted by a bunch of Amazons."

"Oh, you loved it."

"Wait a minute. Let's go back a few frames here." Josh waved his hands in the air.

"Cindy, I don't pay attention to girls. I've never been out on a date. (Is this a date? No. No, couldn't be.) I've never been out on a date. But you know what? Except for the screaming and the crying, this is pretty nice. Can I try something? Just to see if it works?" He stood up and put the chair back against the wall.

"Don't you dare touch me." Cindy scooted herself back and up a stair, moving away from him.

"Oh, no. Nothing so forward as that. Never again, not until you ask me to." He backed up a bit.

"I'll never ask you!" It looked like real fire this time, making her eyes shine.

"Okay." Josh went out the door, closing it behind him. Then he opened it, switched on the porch light, and closed it again. The doorbell rang. After a few seconds it rang again.

Cindy opened the door slowly. Josh was standing on the mat, a smile on his face and his hands folded in front of him.

"Ms. Carlson? Josh Allenson. I believe we have a date tonight. I'm a little late. I ran into a little turbulence a few moments ago, but. . . ." Josh turned and looked at the moon. And then he turned back to Cindy. "But I don't think there is any more rough flying tonight. No. I think it will be quite safe for you to come out."

Next Chapter
Table of Contents
Buy the Novel