Visiting hours were nearly
over when Josh arrived at the hospital. Three days to recuperate from a fall of no
consequence. But Miss Ingersoll was getting better. Each day, more of her
spunk was back. She was going to be home tomorrow but Josh had
a question that couldn't wait. More than that. He felt that they'd
been playing a chess game, and he'd found the move that would win
the game for him.
He pushed her door open and looked at the bed. The
lights were dim and her head was back on her pillow. She was
asleep. Josh turned to go but then changed his mind. He sat in the
chair next to the bed and watched her, watched her breath go in and
out, watched the reassuring rhythm of the bed clothes rising and
falling. Somehow this woman had done a lot to make sense of his
life. What were those people called, magic beings who were put there
to help you in times of need?
"Josh. How nice to see you, the first thing I open my eyes.
I like having you come to visit me. Tell me what you've been
doing. Help me remember the world outside of this dreadful place."
"Doc says you're going home tomorrow. You're going
to be fine. Just need to be more careful on the stairs."
"Now don't you lecture me, Josh. I've got enough
people telling me how to live my life. This hospital is full of
busy-bodies who want to tell me how to do every single thing. You're
supposed to be my friend. Tell me nice things." She smiled, but still
looked frail.
"Miss Ingersoll. Miss Ingersoll, I was thinking about
what you said. You told me all about how important Detroit might
be. And how it could be the best thing for me. Remember all of that?"
"Just ideas. Just things for you to think about. Have
you made a decision? Oh, I wasn't going to say that. We're friends,
and one of the things that friends do is wait. Just give food for
thought. And play devil's advocate." She had turned her head in his
direction and fixed her eyes on him.
"I was thinking about you."
"Me, dear? I thought we were talking about you."
"Well, yeah. But you came to Exeter. Oh, I don't know
how you ended up here and all, but you did. And you're happy. And
if Exeter is good enough for you then it's good enough for me.
Plenty good enough." Josh stood up and moved closer to the bed as
he talked until he was staring down at Miss Ingersoll.
"That's a good answer, Josh, and for me, it made sense.
But listen. No, sit down and then listen, there's a dear." Josh
slumped back into the chair. He hadn't meant to be on the receiving
end again.
"I was born in Exeter, and I've lived most of my life here.
I went to college in Boston, graduated from Emerson in 1938. I
was only twenty when I graduated, and then I came home. Those
were rough years, and maybe my parents needed me, that was
certainly part of why I came here. But more than that, I found
important things and people here. I had my school friends, a lot of them
lived here. And I got a job at the town library, back when it was that
little building on Front Street. Then, after the war, I got my
masters degree in library science at the university. I'd already been
promised the position at the high school, so lots of things worked well
for me."
"I could do the same thing, Miss Ingersoll. I could
work here, and get more schooling, just like you did. I could do it."
"Now, wait. I'm not making myself clear." She tried to
raise herself in the bed. Josh put a hand under her elbow. "I did all
of that, and some of it I regret. I regret that I had to help out at
home, and that when my parents got sick, I was trapped for almost
ten years taking care of them. That was forced on me. But there's a
lot more that I don't regret. I don't regret for a second that I
became the school librarian. That was a decision. The job was mine, if
I'd take a couple of courses at the university, and I chose to do that.
I chose to stay here after my parents died. And I chose to be who
I was."
"So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to choose
to stay here and work at the garage. That's my choice, and that's
what I'm going to choose." He felt his body tighten as if expecting
a blow.
"Well, now." She fixed her eyes on him. "I made my
choice for me. But it seems that you're making your choice for
other people. You want to stay here for Cindy. You want to stay here
for Fred and Gus and the garage. And of course for your mother
and grandfather. They like having you around. What is it that
Josh wants? Can you make a choice for yourself? You're the
important one. You are the one that you are going to have to live with for
the rest of your life."
What is with this old lady? What right does she have
to keep pushing? Josh was trying to speak, trying to let out some
of the anger. And then he was trying to breathe. He sank into the
chair and looked pleadingly at the woman in the bed.
"Tell me what to do. I need you to tell me. Everyone else
is telling me all the time. Josh go. Josh stay. But Josh go is
Parsons. She wants to know about her old lover. And Josh stay is Cindy.
She thinks that we're forever, and so I should stay."
"Forever? Oh, how nice. How long have you known
this girl?"
"Oh, I see it now. I see what you want. You want to
break us up. You don't want me to have a happy marriage because
you never got married. You. . . . Oh, no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
say that. I didn't mean that."
"No, no. That may be true. I don't think it is. I think I
made a lot of choices, and one of them was to not get married. What did
I need some man around for? My father left me his house. I had
a job. I had friends. Lots of them had husbands who seemed to
be quite a bother. So I think I made that choice. But I don't think
you should. I think you should find a nice girl someday, and marry
and have happy kids."
"But not Cindy?" The anger was dominant now, and
it reassured Josh. At least he knew what he was fighting for.
"Oh, maybe Cindy. She's a lovely girl. I just think maybe
not now. Not here. There may be a bigger world for you. There may
be something exciting, something wonderful waiting for you in
Detroit. Or California. Or Europe. Or somewhere else. That's all
I want for you. Is to give yourself every possibility. No, no.
Don't say anything. Don't argue, because you're right. You've got all
the tangibles on your side. And I'm just talking dreams, and maybes.
I need to get some more rest. Be a dear and ask the nurse to
come and fluff my pillows. And Jack said you'd come by after
school tomorrow to see how I'm doing. Is that all right with you?"
Backed into a corner again. If it wasn't checkmate, it
sure felt like it. Where was his escape? How could he avoid the logic
of this old woman?
Next Chapter
Table of Contents
Buy the
Novel
